I’m writing this while Robert is in a medical procedure in preparation for surgery. I’m worried, and I’m worried that I’m worried. I’m also worried that my worry could make him worried. I know he still has symptoms. I know he was tested less than four months ago so his odds are good. But I’m still worried. Because I’m a master of worry.
This is when I have to wrench my thoughts to a more positive direction. This is when I remember that I have control over my reality, i.e my thoughts, AND I have absolutely no control over my reality. It will be what it will be. I repeat to myself with as much optimism as I can muster “I ask for the healthiest possible outcome.”
I can only do that for so long though. I still have all this energy to put somewhere. This is when I look for an outlet that is productive.
I turn my thoughts to the work I want to do. Which makes me think about work and how the term Work in physics relates to the work of people. (I really do think this way all the time.) Work equals force times distance. It means using your energy to create a force to move something or someone forward.
Have you ever known someone who shows up for a job but doesn’t do any work? Who thinks their time is incredibly valuable even if they don’t do anything? I always remember this guy I had asked to update my business cards. I don’t remember why, but he had me sit there while he moved things around the screen. Ian was with me, and was a very active two-year-old at the time. It seemed obvious to me that the guy was stalling. That he thought somehow if he took a longer it would be more valuable.
That is the kind of thing that drives me crazy. It’s the opposite of efficiency.
Don’t get me wrong – the time itself has a value. But it does not mean you’re doing any work. Work is using your energy to create a force to move a distance. And I was paying this guy to use his force to move me forward to having business cards created. Work output.
I finally spoke up to the guy. I told him that he was actually costing me by using up my time and energy. And it took a lot of energy to hold Ian still in that office! I had agreed to pay him for the results. I would rather he spend less time as long as he got great results.
Back to thoughts about the work I want to do. I’m clear that I want to use my study of human energy to move things forward. I have been studying it for 30 years, and I know it works for me, but it’s time to share it so it can work to create forces to move things forward elsewhere.
That’s work I want to do, but that doesn’t mean it has to be what supports my family. I need income. Since I believe in the power of clarity of thought, I actually looked up the definition. Income is money received from work (wage or salary), capital (interest or profit), or land (rent).
Lately I’d say our family has been supported by InGo, not just the narrower category of income. I’ll define InGo as the energy Going Into our household. We’ve also received money that didn’t arise from our work, capital or land. We’ve also received so much positive energy lately that has supported our family that I have to acknowledge that too.
So back to the work/income thing. (Yes, I really do think in this meandering way all the time!) Whether I directly get income from the human energy work or not, I’m committed I to it because I love to do it. Being paid for it in income would be a bonus, but I realize I need to make a distinction. My ideal work would be working with like-minded people to increase efficiencies in human, organizational and/or global energy, having significant, positive, measurable impact.
Robert’s procedure is over and the biopsy results will be in next week. Please send prayers, positive energy, good thoughts, or whenever you want to call it, for the healthiest possible outcome.
And hopefully I’ve done good work turning worry energy into moving forward on an income stream. I hope it helps move you forward in some way too.